The sun falls and rises and the moon goes through phases.  As do we.  Last week was exactly that in my home.  There were a lot of difficult situations that led to personal growth.  Things that happened with my children affected me and I needed to learn how to adjust.  Time got away from me and I started to feel like crap.  With summer coming and schedules shifting I realized I needed to find a new routine for me.

Last week, my son’s lacrosse team had their final game of the season.  It would also be the last game of his high school career.  The game is televised on ESPN and they were the reigning champions for the past two years.  There was no way in the world I was missing this.  I decided my daughter would miss school and I would figure out arrangements for the dog.  I took the dog to puppy camp first thing Monday morning and as soon as I got home we drove 4.5 hours to Maryland. 

The car ride was brutal and my body was aching from head to toe.  As usual, I did not listen to it and we only stopped for a break once.  I get so excited when I am going to see James that I just want to get there.  When we got into the lobby of the hotel there he was.  I melt into his huge bear hugs and I am in his world.  We talked about the upcoming game.  He was nervous and excited.  I could tell he was confident and couldn’t wait to watch him play.

We noticed the roster was incorrect the minute we got to the game.  My husband immediately went to the press box to let them know James’s name and number were incorrect.  What a game!  James was playing lights out and we were winning at the half.  Second half, he was still on fire, but some unfortunate calls and plays did not go in our favor.  We were tied up with one minute left, James won the faceoff and there was a time out.  The other team called a stick check on my son, which is a huge NO NO on a FOGO.  The call went their way.  We lost possession and received a four minute penalty for James.  We lost the game on a cheap call made by a desperate coach. We also found out they were announcing his name wrong on ESPN the entire game. How do you explain that to your child?  How do you end the championship game saying, “Sometimes life sucks!”?  We had to do just that.

The defeat, hurt and anger my son displayed at the end of the game cannot even be described.  My emotions were all over the place, so I could completely understand how he felt.  I wanted to get in the car at 10 PM and drive home.  In true James form he came to our room when the team returned.  He was broken.  Then he said, “Thank you!  You gave me the best 2 years of my life.  I will never forget them and they made me who I am.  I love you guys!”  I will never forget these words or that day.  He taught me that even in the darkest moment, there is always light.

We drove home Tuesday.  This time almost five hours and one stop.  I have never wanted to get home so badly.  I spent my day still very bitter and angry from the events of the day before.  I rushed Noelle to ballet, picked up the dog, ran some errands, picked up Noelle and came home to make dinner.  I collapsed into bed.

Wednesday was going to be another crazy day catching up.  No yoga again for me.  I had some appointments and things I needed to get done.  Before I knew it, it was time to start my taxi driving with Noelle, lol!  Off to ballet she went.  I thought I was finally going to have a few hours to myself when she called very upset for me to come get her.  The piece they were working on for her spring show was not going well and the director wanted it cut.  After months of rehabilitation from her bilateral ankle surgery and finally feeling confident, just like that back to defeat.  A very sad Noelle got into my car.  I thought to myself, “I really cannot take much more of this happening to my children this week!”  I was beyond angry.  AGAIN!

Thursday and Friday there was no school.  I knew these two days would be all about Noelle and chauffeuring her all around.  Bright and early Thursday we went to the DMV for Noelle to get her permit.  I had a knot in my stomach.  With the week going the way it was this could have gone either way.  Thank God she passed with flying colors!  She was elated! We were back on the rise!

By Thursday evening I was a mess.  I was nasty, moody, emotional and my body hurt.  The stress of the week had really gotten to me.  I am very in tune to my body and knew I needed to get back to myself.  I planned my entire Friday around Noelle’s beach day making sure to include my yoga practice.  Having that alone was going to make me feel better.  The plan was set.

Of course, the morning went haywire!  I was sitting in traffic getting Noelle to her friend’s house and I was going to miss yoga.  I was about to cry in the car, but held it together.  I made it to class with zero time to spare.  While I lay there the instructor began to speak.  She started to talk about failures and triumphs.  How our life ebbs and flows.  That it is ok to be like the sun, falling and rising.  To be like the moon, going through phases.  I swear she was in my head and talking to me.  I needed to hear this lesson.  My week had to have that beautiful light at the end of it.

I usually take off from the gym on the weekends, but decided to take a surrender class Saturday.  My body was still hurting from traveling and I was exhausted, but refusing to give in.  The stretch and meditation were everything to me.  I came out of there a new person.  On Sunday I set my alarm for another yoga class to make up for all I missed during the week.  I woke up about 3 AM and changed my mind.  I cancelled the alarm.  I woke up at 9:45 AM naturally.  I spent my morning relaxing and meditating.  I reflected on my week and how I dealt with it.  It did not begin well, but I figured it out.  I am learning.  I am becoming the best me that I can be for myself and my family.

Life will have so many ups and downs and we need to learn how to deal with them.  We will make plans and have an idea of the way life will go and it may not happen.  The journey may get rough at times.  For these reasons we need to look for the light.  It is always there if you want to see it.  Treasure the great moments.  Rise from your falls like the sun and embrace your phases like the moon.  Have a very blessed week!