I don’t like Thanksgiving.  There I said it.  Wow, that feels amazing!  It’s not that I am not thankful, because I am.  I just feel like I don’t need a holiday to express it.  I don’t need the drama of who is coming over, who is missing, how much food I have to buy and make, watching what I say and do and so much more.  I am a very blessed and grateful person and having a day to dictate that only causes me stress. 

For many years I had every single holiday and birthday celebration.  At first, I loved it, then it became a chore. Something I dreaded.  I would start to get nasty before everyone arrived and as the day progressed I got nastier.  A few years ago, I actually broke down and decided I would not have every holiday anymore.  Guess which one I immediately gave to my brother?  You guessed it!  Thanksgiving!

It was so wonderful not doing back to back holidays.  I love Christmas so giving that up was not even an option.  No longer doing Thanksgiving allowed me to focus on the season I love and enjoy.  I was able to add personal touches to the season that made my heart smile.  Unfortunately, the past 2 years my brother has not been able to do Thanksgiving and it is back on me.

Last year I made the best of it, but not this year.  This year I hated every minute of it.  I just wanted to be away with my family of 4.  I did not cook.  I ordered most of it in or my mom made it.  I was cranky and my mind was preoccupied with those not with us.  I did not have fun.  I was not grateful.  Putting on a happy face was a difficult task, but I did it.

I knew that on Friday I was leaving with my husband, kids and the dog to our happy place.  Our home in the Berkshires.  When we are there we don’t answer our phones, we play Rummikub, cards, light a fire, watch tv as a family, ski, drink hot chocolate and just live a simple life.  I am so thankful for my Berkshire life with my family.  Being there gives us time to reconnect and recharge.  It is amazing how the minute we arrive we all go into relaxation mode.  The photo posted with this blog was taken 15 minutes after our arrival.  Instant bliss.  This is Thanksgiving!  Not some dumb day forced upon me on the calendar.

Yesterday we were back in NY and I decorated the house for Christmas.  My son made it back to college safely and we are back in the swing of reality.  Thankful.  Blessed.  Just a regular Sunday.  Today I lead my second class as a yoga instructor.  This is something I have been working so hard for and achieving my goal has been so rewarding.  I will do some Cyber Monday shopping and regular errands.  Again, thankful and blessed on a regular weekday.

What I have come to realize after reflecting on this years’ Thanksgiving is that I let a holiday consume my happiness.  That is the polar opposite of the way I try to live my life.  I did not make the best of a shitty situation.  I got what I gave, so my karma sucked.  Time to put that behind me and start again.  Now that we are in Christmas season I am happy and smiling!  I cannot wait to begin celebrating and taking in all the joys of this magical time of the year. 

So, while I do not like Thanksgiving I am thankful for the lessons it taught me this year.  I am thankful every day and do not need a holiday to express that.  When I have a bad attitude, I create the response given back to me from the universe.  I am not having Thanksgiving next year.  It does not make me happy.  I want to be the best me for myself and my family.  Doing things to make others happy at the cost of my happiness isn’t worth it.

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