How are you doing seems to be the question of the hour these past few weeks. So, how are you doing? Me? Better today. Week two started off very positively for me. My schedule was set and I really felt I was doing well with the situation. I was wrong. Three days ago, I lost my shit.
Virtually teaching yoga on my social media pages was great, but when that hour was over I started to feel like life was too. Meditation was not helping. Binge watching Netflix, wine, family, all not helping. Seeing how many people are not following the rules while I remain in quarantine was beginning to take a toll on me.
I miss the sunshine. Social interaction. My friends. Free will. Why are so many people being so flippant about this situation while I stay home. Can’t the government do something? Fine them, arrest them, beat the shit out of them, lmao? It seriously began to consume me how selfish these people are and I was getting angry.
Soon, the anger turned to sadness. This was getting bad very quickly and I could sense myself spiraling down the rabbit hole. Then I really did something stupid. I weighed myself. Holy mother fucker, up 6 pounds!!! This was not good. Something had to change.
What kind of accountability coach am I if I am not holding myself accountable for my actions. Time to upload the CarbManager app back into my phone. My family did not come near me for 2 days. They left me to figure it out on my own. A new plan needed to be put into play because clearly my original one failed.
Saturday night I cried myself to sleep. When I woke up yesterday I was ready for the day. My pity party was over. I have a new plan with a new schedule and hope this one works. If it doesn’t, I will re-evaluate before I fall into the horrible place I was in Friday and Saturday. Obviously, I saw the signs and ignored them.
Unfortunately, this situation really sucks. We are all going to lose it at some point. Give your family space to mourn that we are not living normally. Do not try to understand why some people really suck and are making this isolation last longer than it has to. Take care of you. Stay safe, healthy and positive. I believe there is a rainbow after this storm!
