Learning How to Cope When Life Forces You to Pivot
Sometimes, you come to a point in your life when you know you need to pivot. Sometimes it’s the result of a big incident, other times it’s several small events that lead you to this realization. For me, it was a little bit of both.
You see, I came to a point in my life where I was extremely unhappy. I was severely obese at 428 pounds, found myself in an unhappy marriage, deeply in debt, and had no goals or motivation. I was a shell of my former self, sitting on the sidelines watching my life pass by me. I knew something had to change.
I first started by trying to get my finances in order. However, every step I took forward, I was pushed ten steps back by my husband. He always found an excuse to spend money we didn’t have, pushing us further into debt. He refused to work with me on our budget and debt, leaving me feeling helpless and hopeless.
All of these small events led me to realize that I needed to pivot in a big way.
My First Pivot
Upon realizing that there’s no one I can change but myself, I switched gears and decided to focus on my health. I had always been overweight, was constantly teased and bullied for being fat. I was also starting to suffer health consequences as a result of my weight – pre-diabetes, polycystic ovarian syndrome, obstructive sleep apnea, high blood pressure and I was constantly tired. My aunt had told me about her bariatric surgery a few months ago, and it made me want to learn more information.
In November 2017, I attended a weight loss surgery information session. The doctor changed my life! I left that information session feeling something I hadn’t felt in a very long time – hope. Hope is a powerful thing.
I decided to go for it, and that the only thing I had to lose was the weight. I started making changes to my life, from what I ate, to how much I exercised and how I managed my stress. It was working, too! I followed my doctor’s suggestions and slowly started losing weight.
My Second Pivot
About three months into these changes, I had that big incident happen to me that I knew I had to pivot again.
My husband dropped a bomb on me – confessing that he was involved in some illegal activity. I stayed up that night crying. I didn’t know what to do.
After getting some sleep and having a few days to think about it, my choice became clear. My husband was emotionally and financially abusive and leaving him would allow me to make the necessary changes to transform my life.
I had a lot of questions and doubts, but thankfully, I have an amazingly supportive set of family and friends who helped me every step of the way.
Coping with My New Life
I learned how to manage my emotional eating through exercise. Exercise became my comfort. It allowed me to work out my frustrations, deal with my emotions, and to focus on me and my goals. I became stronger, both mentally and physically, as a result of my workouts.
Meditation also became a big factor in managing my stress. It allowed me a quiet time to just observe my thoughts and let them go. I worked hard to get past a lot of guilt, shame, and blame associated with my obesity and abusive marriage. Meditation is one of the tools I used to get past those negative emotions.
I had my surgery three months after my husband dropped that bomb on me. I had managed to lose 80 pounds up to that point.
Finally Living the Life I Love
After surgery, I didn’t have too many struggles with my new stomach, except resisting the urge to workout. After my mandatory four-week exercise restriction was lifted, I started getting back into the gym again.
I’ve consistently exercised three to five days a week since that time. I still weigh and measure all my food, and meditate regularly.
Here I am, two years later, and in total, I’ve lost 238 pounds. I am officially divorced from my husband, paying down debt, and I help other women make the permanent lifestyle changes necessary to be successful with bariatric surgery.
I no longer watch my life pass by. Instead, I actively participate in it. I can do so many things now since I’ve lost weight. I feel incredibly better, both physically and mentally.
All because I was brave enough to pivot at the right time.
For more information, visit me in the following places:
https://stopweightingstartdoing.com
